wood paneling, strawberry jam, and a comedian named Kermet.

So I changed my blog...and I don't love it. All of this coding and XML vs. HTML is starting to make me feel like my mom does when she tries to use the Tivo (old and out of it). I don't really know how to make it how I want it...so we'll deal with it for now.

I had a great weekend. Friday night I worked on some craft/sewing projects I have, Saturday I slept in which was a treat, but I definitely don't like the feeling you get when you sleep too late. Then I went grocery shopping with my Mom, we came home and put some cherries on ice, and then changed into our suits. Then she, my Dad and myself swam the day away in a blissfully chlorinated 85 degree oasis located near the back yard. We showered, went out to eat, and then I spent the rest of my evening preparing a the talk I gave yesterday.

I love giving talks. I love writing talks, and I love giving them. There is a beauty in the way the spirit can shape your words. OF COURSE the topic was "Proclaim Glad Tidings to All the World." I've been surrounded by a little bit too much missionary action to call it coincidence. I don't know when to go, though. I could not go back to school and leave in November-ish (I turn 21 in August), but I really want to go back and see all of my friends who have gotten home from their missions this summer! Plus, I have the most amazing living situation lined up, and I actually have the conviction to study hard and get good grades. Also, my parents just bought me a new car because they thought I'd be staying around until at least January. I should clarify, the car is new to me. It's not new new. It's a 2000 camry. which is chill I guess, but I really wanted this car that is for sale down the street from my office. it's a 1984 Jeep Grand Cherokee, white with wood paneling. it's only $800 OBO!! I wanted it SO bad, I've been coveting it for about 2 months now, but I guess the fact that it's 'broken down' and being sold for 'scrap metal' makes my parents fear that it might not get me all the way to Utah this August. Lame.

I think wood paneling is THE coolest. I want a white car with wood paneling real bad. This corolla is boring and silver. But I've decided that I'm going to make custom floral slip covers, and once I string one of my new wooden peace signs (I am now a jig-saw MASTER) onto some seed beads strung onto floss around the rear-view mirror she'll be ready for action.

My talk went great on Sunday. I love the gospel and it's true and I love giving talks. One of my favorite ways to study the gospel is to pick a topic and write a talk about it. I do everything from the introduction to bearing my testimony at the end. I love how principles of the gospel overlap and testify of each other, and everything, with the right perspective, can be seen as an acknowledgment of our Heavenly Father's love for us and the Savior's teachings and sacrifice. I believe that love is the answer (this is a shout out to Matthew Case my best friend who is currently 'living legendary' and living one of his dreams by biking across the United States. He also believes that love is the answer).

Sunday evening I made strawberry freezer jam because it's really good and we haven't had any in forever and it is delicious! Also, I wore an apron. So, I guess you could say I'm going to be a really good mom. At least when it comes to making strawberry jam.

Sunday night my mom and I went to see Brian Regan perform live! It was absolutely hilarious, and I had a great time. his opening comedian, Kermit Apio, was almost equally as funny. My favorite part of the whole show was at the end, when he came out for the encore, he just asked us what we wanted to hear and we shouted out our favorite jokes he does. He listened to me!! I yelled out my favorite joke of his "get some leaves" and he did the whole routine. priceless. I hope he accepts the gospel one day.

Yesterday was a great day. I think I'm learning how to deal with my mother. Things have changed and I am now the grown-up. As long as I continue to play that role we seem to get along better. I wish that wasn't so, I wish I could come home and relax and be taken care of, not that I am not sometimes, but usually I have to run the house and get her up in the morning and cook dinner and coordinate social events. It makes me feel proud of myself and like maybe I actually can succeed at being a grown up and having a family. It also makes me feel like it might be relaxing once I get to school and all I need to worry about is myself. And how I'm going to pay my astronomically high rent.

Tonight I was asked to sing at a congressional-senator-meeting thing. The more I research and learn about politics and how the world works, the more I realize that it's not about partisanship, it's about leadership. Especially regarding the upcoming election. Do we want a democratic senate as well as a democratic president? If they are acting as true leaders, and truly in the best interest of those who voted for them, the I honestly don't think it would matter. The problem is, nobody is perfect but the Savior. And he's a little busy right now, so we have to trust in our local and national 'leaders' and hope they aren't 'partisaners.' Yes, I made that word up.

My blog entries are always so long!

Sometimes I get so lonely I can't stand it. I can't really depend on my parents that much, I have to take care of them. (but I love them very much). Most people see me as a socialite and a disposable part of their day. It's no one's fault, I think I am probably not very good at having close friends. But it's all I want. I don't want to try anymore though. I get burned every time. I put too much of myself on the line, and it turns me inside out for too long. I hate forced mingling, I'm not good at parties, and I don't know any movies that are out right now. I like talking about real things with the real sides of people, because those are the things that last. It's fun to be funny, but it's wonderful to be real. I can't wait until I get married one day and I can have a best friend who is as devoted to me as I am to him. We can talk about deep things and real things and have inside jokes and be funny. It will be great. until then I will stop focusing on me and remember that there are real people in the world with real problems, and I need to focus on them because that's what the Savior would do. And I'm trying to be like him.

peace.