Have you ever read Tuesdays with Morrie? There's a part where Mitch Albom says that the longer he went in life without contacting Morrie, the easier it was to stay away, and the harder it seemed to go back. Such is the case in many of my personal relationships. I know that I have never been good at keeping in touch. I am choosing to refuse to accept that trait or define myself in that way. I refuse to acknowledge my deficiency, shrug my shoulders and move on.
I don't know much of anything about life but I am starting to learn through observation that life is and will be exactly what you make it. And you can decide to go through it moderately meeting every expectation, being moderately successful, moderately loving (and therefore, moderately loved), and moderately happy. Is this really living? Or is this working for the weekend, and when it finally arrives you find yourself only moderately pleased?
What I am trying to say in way too many words is I have decided that the relationships I have built are worth too much to me to merely write off in a 'that's how I am' kind of way. They are also worth too much to me to only moderately try in regards to their maintenance. Yes, there is supposed to be moderation in all things but men are they they might have joy! Plus, Joseph Smith told me that happiness is the object and design of my existence. We're all given life, but how many of us truly live? This is me pleading with myself to be unafraid to take the scenic route through life. This is also me updating my blog, therefore attempting to re-build relationships with people who matter to me and don't even know it.
But, first, let's call a spade a spade. I have also been compelled to update 'life in stereo' for a school assignment. I have a few things to say about this assignment:
1. This is technically a weekly assignment for which I have been responsible since the beginning of the semester. I have been faintly aware of that responsibility, seeing the word 'reflection' occasionally posted on the class website or in the syllabus, never actually absorbing the reality of it or its implications in my coursework. Well, not necessarily my coursework but definitely my grade. I should probably care about my grades more than I do. Which at this point is pretty much not at all. I have a real problem with hoop-jumping being the measure of my growth as a student and as a person. However, attending the grad school fair last week AND just plain growing up are helping me realize that, unfortunately, I will have to put my education aside for now, slip on my air-jordans, and get my hop on for a few years.
2. I forgot.
The Assignment is for my favorite class. I'm not really sure what the class is actually called, but I kind of see it as a mixture of educational psychology and developing teaching methods/skills. Which sound similar. And are. So...that's good. Each week I am to reflect on the reading/discussions we have in class as well as my personal thought processes, moral ideals, and ideas for my future classroom, curriculum, etc. If you don't want to read it and just want a general update on my life, it's chill. I will make sure to clearly mark which sections of my blog entries contain more of a secular history.
So, this has turned into one extremely huge, long, never finished blog post. So I will try to cut it up and supplement it and sort it by the weeks we talked about things in class. Next semester I'm going to be happy with unfinished blog posts. This is hard.
1 comment:
I don't care why your doing it. It is still fun to hear something from you. I hope you have a great Christmas. Miss you.
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