Thursday, February 05, 2009

Whether the weather is cold, or whether the weather is hot...

Whatever the weather
we're in this together,
whether we like it or not.

If I were ever going to have a civilian wedding (which I won't) I would use that short rhyme as my half of the exchanging of vows. Then we would get right to the party.

Speaking of weather, the past few days in Provo have been quite blissful. Warm enough that you're good in jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. We're talking Oregon winter weather here (which is nearly perfect). I'm loving it.

Today as my friend Ashley and I were driving to a location we are planning to use for a photo shoot, I opened up the old sunroof. I mean moonroof. I mean hole-in-the-top-of-your-car-but-it's-okay-because-it's-a-planned-hole-that-you-can-cover-up-roof. Isn't it funny that people will pay extra for less car? I understand that with a [celestial body here]roof there are additional electronic and sealing needs, etc. I just think its funny.



Anyway, as I was closing said-roof for the day I decided to find out, once and for all, what a sunroof really is and how the H it differs from a moonroof. I knew that one of them just tilted up and the other actually opened, but I didn't know which one was which. My educated guess was that the one that merely tilted was a sunroof because, afterall, if the sun is shining you don't want it to shine right on you (hello skin cancer!), but if the moon was shining you want to slide it open so you can see it. Right? Wrong. Dead wrong.

According to Wikipedia, the most correct and dependable source of information in the entire world (literally), I was literally dead. Wrong.

Sunroof vs. Moonroof status has nothing to do with the tilt/slide options that are out there. Here is the only difference:

One is opaque. The other is not.

That's it. Opacity is the nebulous, seemingly arbitrary variable that ceases to stump the human race. This question, sunroof or moonroof? is up there with 'why is the sky blue?' 'why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?' 'why do we choose between like 4 people for president and 50 for Miss America?' OR -the big one- 'is Heath Ledger really dead?'

So, out of those important questions regarding life, these are the ones I can answer:

1. Why is the sky blue?
something about blue and violet having the shortest wavelengths on the spectrum and
when the sunlight hits the molecules in the atmosphere those are the ones to scatter and
reflect the light. ...? I think. Whatever, google it.

2. Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?
Melanin. (I work for a dermatologist). Also, wear sunscreen so you don't die like Bob Marley did.

3. why do we choose between like 4 people for president and 50 for Miss America?
Because no one wants to see John McCain, Joe Biden, or even Barack Obama in a
swimming suit.

4. Is Heath Ledger Really Dead?
I don't know, little ones. There are many people who are very concerned about this issue
and believe that he will come back Oscar night in his Joker outfit. They have many
reasons to believe he is still alive, and some of them are quite humorous. The only reason I
care about knowing is to make sure that his temple work gets done. Maybe Heath and
Elvis are running a laundromat somewhere in South Carolina. Or, maybe they are now
companions preaching the good word on the other side. Either way we'll get them squared
away, eternally speaking.

5. What is the difference between a sunroof and a moonroof?
A sunroof is opaque, whereas a moonroof has a glass panel so that during those chilly
evenings you can still see the moon. Personally, I would rather you kept your eyes on the road.

Welp everyone, you're welcome. I'm going to bed. have a great night! And, if you have any more questions about life, start here. It should clear everything up for you.

3 comments:

Ashley said...

I have always wondered this. Thank you for solving my dilemma of life.

Maria said...

or what about this one: does pop music make me miserable, or am i miserable because i listen to pop music?

Chad said...

I have a moon roof: in my mouth...right next to my pectinate line.